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ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7     Blesok no. 96 | volume XVII | May-June, 2014



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                     Peer-reviewed journal
Blesok no. 96May-June, 2014
Prose

Scheherezade (black comedy in 1001 minutes)

/3
p. 1
Srđan Janićijević

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

UNCLE
    YOUNGSTER
    THE GIRL

(MINUTE 0001)
    
    A dirty basement with two doors, one of which is shelter-like, made of metal. It is filled with high-tech equipment (computers, LCD monitors etc.) unbecoming of the place. Enter YOUNGSTER and UNCLE. They are carrying a rolled-up carpet. They seem a bit panicked.

UNCLE
    Drop it here.

YOUNGSTER
    Here!?

UNCLE
    Just for a while.

YOUNGSTER
    Our equipment is here!

UNCLE
    Open the door.

YOUNGSTER
    Why me?

UNCLE
    You’ve got the key.

YOUNGSTER
    I don’t have it. You took it.

UNCLE
    Who is it that found this place?

YOUNGSTER
    Did I find it?

UNCLE
    My hands are getting heavy! Just drop it! Let’s find the keys.

YOUNGSTER
    If you drop the carpet I’ll… Don’t mess around!

UNCLE
    Check your pockets.

YOUNGSTER
    You check them! I’m certain.

UNCLE
    Don’t yell!

YOUNGSTER
    Don’t pressure me! Check! ONE HANDED!
    
    Using his left hand Uncle checks his left pocket, while holding the carpet with his right. The carpet seems heavier than it should be. He repeats the procedure with his other hand and pocket.

UNCLE
    I don’t have them. You check.

YOUNGSTER
    (Shaking his hips)
    Do you hear any jingling?

UNCLE
    (Looks around paranoicaly)
    What jingling?! Why jingling?!

YOUNGSTER
    The keys! If I had them, they would jingle.

UNCLE
    Stop jingling. I don’t have them, either. Check again.

YOUNGSTER
    Don’t yell at me. I don’t respond well to pressure.
    
    Youngster repeats the same procedure with his hands and pockets. Still nothing.

UNCLE
    Wait a second… How did we get in?
    
    Youngster turns toward the door through which they entered.

YOUNGSTER
    They’re hanging on the door.

UNCLE
    Go get them/

YOUNGSTER
    Hold.
    
    Youngster leaves the carpet in the hands of Uncle.

UNCLE
    I can’t hold it by myself.

YOUNGSTER
    Don’t you drop the carpet!
    (He goes to the door, takes the keys out, and starts waving them.)
    You were supposed to lock the door.

UNCLE
    Come help me! I’m about to drop it. Hurry.

YOUNGSTER
    (in a paranoid manner)
    Wait a second… Why didn’t you lock it?

UNCLE
    How could I lock it?! You had the key! The door is open! Can’t you see?!

YOUNGSTER
    That’s bad. Your plan sucks! Now, hold on to the carpet because this is starting to make me crazy!
    
    Unable to hold it any longer, Uncle drops the carpet. Silence. The situation brings out nervous ticks on Youngsters face.

UNCLE
    Take it easy, relax. Everything is under control. Don’t panic. Here, I’m holding it, it won’t roll out.

YOUNGSTER
    You know what’s driving me crazy? The fact that you treat me like I’m crazy.

UNCLE
    It can happen to anyone.

YOUNGSTER
    Anyone!? Does anyone rent a basement? Does anyone fill his basement with this kind of equipment? Does anyone get in debt over his head to buy this equipment?
    (Points at carpet)
    Does anyone carry this to the same basement? Does anyone has the same goal as the two of us? What


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