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ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7     Blesok no. 103-104 | volume  | December, 2015



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                     Peer-reviewed journal
Blesok no. 103-104December, 2015
Prose

Replay

/10
p. 1
Benjamin Stein

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Replay

Translation: Brian Zumhagen
      
     I am frightened by phantoms that I did not invent myself. And now, this hoof… It’s peeping out from under the blanket at the foot of my bed in the dark. It’s giving me the creeps. Without looking, I cover it up, put my head back on my pillow and close my eyes, like a child who thinks that if he can’t see something, it isn’t there. That makes me feel better. And yet, I ought to know that it’s a bad omen.
    I’m not a fool. A rose is a rose is a rose. I learned that much from Matana. A sign is, first and foremost, nothing other than a sign, an indication, a guide, not identical to the thing it’s pointing to. The sign itself is innocent. In and of itself it means nothing, and there’s no reason to get excited just because you see it.
    Omens, providence, destiny… I know what I’m talking about. I am a specialist in signs. At least I consider myself to be one, because I got an early start looking for signs, discovering them and interpreting them.
    I started by making “if/when” bets with myself: if the car turns left at the next corner, then I’ll get the ice cream. If not, I won’t. And if it goes straight, there will be something unusually tantalizing waiting for me. I just have to be patient. And then, the red blinker lit up on the back of the car – on the right-hand side, and my hopes were dashed.
    My gaze soon moved from the blinker on a car to the twinkling in the sky. Surely the stars would speak. When I got out of school in the early afternoon, I would turn on the TV, change the channel to The Daily Horoscope and wait eagerly until they got to my sign and announced my astrological outlook. The show had the advantage of coming on at a time when the day was already halfway over. If the astrology backed up the things that had already happened, then that could only mean that the things they predicted that hadn’t happened yet were indeed going to come to pass. If the horoscope had no correlation to the day as I had experienced it up to that point, then that meant anything could be in store for me, just as if my day hadn’t






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