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ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7     Blesok no. 108-109 | volume  | July-August, 2016



                     Peer-reviewed journal
Blesok no. 108-109July-August, 2016

The Seasons

p. 1
Julijana Velichkovska


The Seasons (excerpt)

   Translated by: Milan Damjanoski
    A red egg. The first red egg dyed for Easter and a leaf of the flower called rock crane’s bill – to give me a clean bill of health- were my trusted companions for my first bath alone. My mother said to me: “First, you take the egg and caress your cheeks with it so you’ll be beautiful, healthy and with rosy cheeks in order for you to get married, then roll it all over your body so you won’t have any aches. Then, do the same with the little flower. Leave the door unlocked, so nothing bad can happen to you”. I didn’t follow her advice. I locked the door and even put a rag on the door knob so no one would peek inside. I took my bath alone. I laid there in the tub. I filled it up with water, but not sufficiently to cover my whole body. I was afraid of water. I’m still afraid of it to this very day. I neither understand it, nor do I trust it. They said in school that there is nothing more powerful in the world. That it can erode rocks, that it can change any landscape, that we are all made of water. This was too much for me. I didn’t know how to handle such power. The water inside of me was enough of a burden to bear. I found out, years later, that depending on its surroundings and the voices around it, water would change its molecular structure. This explained a lot. Why I had remained of little stature, why I rarely drink water and why my kidneys were sick. But most of all, why I carried such a chaos inside of me. My water didn’t listen to classical music, did not hear pleasant and warm maternal voices in the morning, nor did it hear enough fatherly advice in the evening, yet it did listen to the band Rage Against the Machine together with my brother:
    Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me
    Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me
    Mother fuckeeerrr!!!

    I’m telling you, this was not good for my water, but it did make pleasant waves at the time.
    Most of the time it was frozen, in quite a badly packaged asymmetrical molecular state. It would melt when listening to Russian

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