ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7 Blesok no. 29 | volume V | November-December, 2002
Blesok no. 29,
Of us three friends, Leo was the only one who never claimed that he was going to kill himself. Now, on the other hand, him turning out to be the one who thinned our numbers just seems logical. Unlike Osvald and me, Leo never went around flaunting his suicidal drive, he just saved it, so that he could bring it out easily, undented and fresh. When it came to threats of suicide, Leo was the quietest among us, Osvald was the loudest. When Osvald complained—whether it was to do with suicide or anything else—that wasn't sentimentality, but his last chance for lamentations. I had long enough to discover that at the construction firm in Karaburma, where the two of us met. And now: while Osvald said that family and life in Perast had killed Leo, his voice trembled. I never expected him to be so troubled by Leo’s death, just as I had never expected Leo to kill himself. I’m not in the least surprised, however, that Perast turned out to be the place where Leo put the full stop on his life. I too spent part of my life in Perast and I know that some people kill themselves so as not to have to live in Perast. Born in Belgrade, Leo moved to Perast two years before he killed himself; Osvald went back to Perast a few months after Leo’s migration. If Leo moved to Perast for love, Osvald went back there for poverty. Perhaps that was why Osvald incessantly belittled that ‘city with no options and village with no tranquility’. It becomes clear that there really are no options in Perast if you compare Osvald and Leo’s close companionship in the last stages with how they related to each other in the beginning: from the moment they got to know each other, in Belgrade they spoke only through an intermediary, and entrusted that role to me; in Perast, they couldn't avoid each other. The most beautiful details of Perast (the wonderful colours of the sky and the waves in the bay, the baroque church, the narrow and from some perspectives even ancient streets, the houses with joyful figures of lions on their stone walls…) made no difference to that, and the fact that it’s wise getting out of there as soon as possible is indicated by the tendency of the seemingly peaceful esplanade to always receive more
1. Karaburma and Batajnica are parts of Belgrade.
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