Blesok no. 96, May-June, 2014

Indigo Autumn
Translated by: Elizabeta Bakovska

Gorana Mitrović

Big City Solitude

Where am I
drawn in layers of memories
imprinted in the city dust
washed by raindrops

I flap my fish tail
to shake the in-between lines
to mix the verses
to settle the truth

am I in this summer
if I imagine the winter
if snowflakes tingle my tongue
turning my burning heart blue

rays run through me
so calm
and so divided
as a distant highway for light and dark worlds

am I looking for the second half
if I myself am not
a mosaic one
if I love all of my pieces
all of mine or all of myself, somebody’s

pieces of soul
thoughts and memories and past lives
pieces of the universe and hints
dreams lived out
let us search for ourselves together --
here we are whole…


* * * (Sometimes you don’t know)

Sometimes you don’t know
how much I belong to you
sometimes you are reminded by the wind
where my soul sleeps within you
the sun often whispers to you about the shadows in my eyes
fixed on your unsaid words
inside you

as if you don’t know where I sleep
when I fall asleep
although I play with your palms all night long

for you it is not enough
to have all of me
since always and forever
so you look for me in the touch
of the morning

you don’t want to know
about my pledge to eternity
cast in this cross
where I will not endure to my resurrection

not in this world…

you, as if you don’t know…

A Manual for Surviving Life
(after the summer)

How I call for you silently
with your fragrance hidden in the fur
although I wash you out
but not my thoughts
not the images of all the places where we met
which we ever thought of
everywhere where we travelled
even where we were not, there we were
more present than in our own lives

I see you smiling
I see you tingling and trembling
under a strong, but not the same sun
I see the girls that want to dance with you
they always do
we never danced that way, yet every other way

I see myself smiling
with a quiet shadow in my eyes
I manage well with nuances, those of colors
and those of my soul
it will be my most precious spot, my feature
– how nicely you have marked me

I wash out and I think of addictions
I remember the instructions for using the cream
three weeks to regenerate the skin
three weeks to clean the body of any chemistry
how many weeks for our alchemistry?!
in which cave should I lay down to get over you quietly
where shall I start, since going on is impossible
how shall I start knowing about the sin
about leaving the essence along the roads –
those that we never took

Underground Sun

I’ve painted my purple color
in a foggy dream of sky, underground sun and death
I took out all the essence out of myself
to appear before myself
to hug the world
I often ask myself where
my former essence sleeps
is it peaceful now
is it finally free of the burden
of times

(Dead Can Dance – Black Sun)

Foolish to Cry

I’m foolish to cry
I tell myself,
as the day continues
its breath of light
on the account of my hiding from the world

foolish to have cried
at the sudden touch of your light
as if I had waited to hide, exactly there
my own clouds collected in a hug
I know, you can carry them

it’s silly to imagine you
through the cities where I’ve just wished you would lose me
as if it’s something good for my tears
because it is certainly not for our souls

it’s utterly pointless that above me
hangs all the nothingness in the world
the one I don’t want to be kind to
while the only thing inside me coloring my world
is hidden within me

(The Rolling Stones – Fool to cry)

I Close My Eyes into the Night

It’s calm inside me,
cosy, and yet
I think of the night that for long
does not promise marvelous moonwalks
before dawn

my thoughts drain verse by verse
– I look for a place to frame your soul
with few words I take away the night from you
stealing the excitement from others’ smiles
in the tunnel of my palms I hand you
to see the whirlpool of the world
the stars mix the times
in halos of wings around our heads
I speak to you quietly
kilometers away, yet close as a thought of prayer
I close my eyes into the night
I embrace
the force that demolishes all known dimensions

Flight at 6 AM

Sleepy I see you off
falling stars scream
under the wheels of your suitcase
only hours ago
they knitted our dream

you leave a fragrance
hidden above my mouth
to be carried through the day
as a cicada, as a silent pain

I fight all stimuli
a long and sticky day
I wonder, will I search for you through memories
will I call myself
then and now
to find you?!

I’ve chosen this piece of life
to live within
my kindred star whispered
I’ve been consistent

but could I’ve followed anything else
               – the sunset caresses your part of the bed

you’re not at home
when we are, we seek each other even then
you are somewhere, I’m there
I’m within you, you are within me
I slowly raise the stars
where they belong
to take me to my dreams
to cover your skies

Until the End of the World

I want you to take me
through cobblestone in soft sandals
with light steps through heat and voices
to be touched only by the blossom in my hair
and your silence

take me to distant kingdoms
growing on gray rocks and moss
so I inhale fairytales
to seek whispers with wet feet
through foggy landscapes

put me in the skies above the cities
so I’d quietly laugh above the common stories
truthful, as in a novel from the past
carefree, as a child infront of future

take me through gold colors
write to me with yellow leaves through the air
while the world passes by
while the time tries to catch up with us
with the music of the railway tracks

take me back to the memories of our city
let us embrace it
let it push us to our beloved ones
before it dawns on us
before the noise in the beds wake up
before another new day shine on us
closer to eternity

(Nick Cave – (I’ll love you) Until the end of the world)

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